how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
