what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
