As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize