i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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