He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
