KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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