At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
