My hand turned me down
operation harelip BJ is a go
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
