So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
