return my video game
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
