I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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