I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
