His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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