Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i will never coherently bang her
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
