yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
