The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
