why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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