You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
