There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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