u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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