We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I woke up under a house in Key West
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
