it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You smell like stripper and shame
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
