Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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