make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
