I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
