So drunk its hurt
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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