Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
