I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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