I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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