ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
