Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
