I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
