ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize