I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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