She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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