Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
