I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
