I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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