What did we do last night that was yellow?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
