is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
