I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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