I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
