We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
