I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
