Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
A+ Viking dick
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
