Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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