he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
