If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think your dad took our porno
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize