One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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