lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
