Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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