I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
