I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
