i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Blood and glitter go together right?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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