Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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