I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
