She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
