Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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