I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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