If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
