btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
P.S. I can't hear my feet
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
