dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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