the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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