I am puke
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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