Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
