Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The power of my boobs compel you
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