ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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