I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
