I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
