All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
